Men vs. Women at the Movies

Last night, a group of ladies from The Crossroads had a "Girls Night Out." They went out to eat at Chic-Fil-A, went to the movies, then went to Starbucks afterwards. From all reports, they had an incredible time. I am so excited to see how our women are really connecting with each other, forming a family, and reaching out to other women in the process.

But what interested me the most was the choice of movie. The ladies went to see My Sister's Keeper. As I understand it, the movie is about a mother who has a daughter with a rare form of leukemia. Her life revolves around meeting her daughter's every need in her battle against cancer. In pursuing treatment for her daughter, she and her husband take the radical step of having another daughter genetically engineered to be the perfect donor for their ailing daughter. There's more to it, but you get the jist of it. Now, I have not seen the movie, and really don't plan to, but from what I can tell, it's what my dad would call a "tear jerker." Several of our ladies confirmed there was a lot of crying throughout the movie.

Now, contrast that with some of the "Guys' Movie Nights" I've been to so far this summer. We have seen Taken (father kicks butt rescuing his daughter from prostitution ring), Star Trek (space battles, fistfights, adventure), Wolverine (guy with claws that extend from his fist and an indestructible skeleton takes on lots of bad guys), Terminator Salvation (John Connor battles in the future to rescue humanity from control of machines), Transformers (super cool cars turn into robots to battle evil robots who are trying to take over the world). We are also eagerly waiting for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (elite fighting force takes on superterrorists).

So, huge difference in the choice of movies between guys and girls. But the choice of movies is really insightful when it comes to understanding men and women. Our ladies went to see a movie that was high on emotional content and emphasized the value of relationships, two things that are integral to who women are and what they are about. Women tend to be much more connected to their emotions than men. Women have a much greater understanding of emotional expression and enjoy exploring the subtle nuances of emotion. But it is not just raw emotion that is important. It is emotion as it relates to relationships: mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, close friends. Men, if you are going to understand women, you have to understand this emotion/relationship component of who women are.

Now, let's contrast that with men. I can never imagine a group of men going to see a movie that is going to make them cry, that is heavy on emotional content, or that explores the emotional connections within a relationship. Men go see movies where there is fighting, where things blow up, where there is cool technology, where there is high suspense. Now, a lot of people (women, be careful here) will make light of men's choice in movies. But to do so is to miss in a fundamental way the incredible heart of a man. What are the common factors in the movies men like? Courage, valor, sacrifice, adventure, integrity, conviction, defending the innocent, pursuing your destiny, fighting for what is right, loyalty (that's a relationship issue, btw) and a host of other similar things. Now, what is common to all these things? They are all issues of character. If women connect to emotion and have a greater capacity for grasping emotion in the context of relationship, men connect with issues of character.

For men, emotion is not the important factor in our decisions and our actions. It is character that counts. What kind of man are you? How are you living from the reality of who you are deep down? What are your core convictions about life? Ladies, if you miss this, if you make light of this, you will fail to grasp what is at the heart of men.

Now, the truth is, we need each other. Men, we need women to help us gain understanding into relationship issues and connecting with the emotion that God has given to us. Women, you need men whose leadership, decision-making, and ability to stand up for his family and what is right are built on a strong sense of character. It's not that either of us are right or wrong about the movies we go see. Movies are simply a reflection of what is really important to us, and understanding what is central to those movies will help you gain access to what is really important to the men or women in your life.

Work the Soil

So, God gave me this great epiphany a month or so ago when it comes to church planting. Here it is: The goal of church planting is to plant a church (duh!), but you don't plant a church by working on the plant. You plant a church by working the soil.

Okay, so here's what I mean. The tendency in church planting is to focus on issues related to the plant itself: having the right music, getting the chairs set up the right way, making sure the logo looks right, having the right "look" and "feel" to our meeting place, getting all the stuff loaded and unloaded on the truck in the right way, having the right food and coffee in the cafe, all the little details that you have to get done and you have to get right.

But I got to thinking about how planting in the agricultural world actually works. My grandfather was a big gardener. Each year he spent lots and lots of hours working in his garden. Now, the hard work of gardening is not so much invested in the plant. It's getting the soil ready to receive the seed. If the soil is properly prepared, if it is kept free of rocks and weeds, if it is properly broken up, if the right fertilizers and nutrients have been applied to the soil, good seed will produce a healthy, fruitful plant.

Jesus said that spreading the message of the kingdom was like a farmer who went out to sow his seed. The fruitfulness of the seed was in each case dependent on the type of soil it fell on.

So, here's where God spoke to me. The real work of church planting is not in working on the plant. It's in working the soil, doing everything possible to give the seed the best opportunity to take root. Working the soil in church planting is about working relationships, getting to know people, cultivating opportunities to talk to people. The most important stuff about church planting is not all the cool stuff we do at church, it's not how neat our next sermon series is, it's not how great our music is. Don't get me wrong, all that stuff is really important and deserves our best efforts and energy and creativity. But the most important thing is working the soil so it will be ready to receive the seed.

Do all the stuff that has to be done, but remember that you are the greatest resource in a church plant, and the relationships you develop with other people are vitally important. Work the soil, sow the seed, and the plant will grow and produce an incredible harvest. Good seed sown in good soil will produce a good harvest.

Launch Team

Our Launch Team has been serving for the past three weeks at The Springs Church in Murphy, TX (north of Dallas). It has been a great experience for us to serve alongside and learn from a church plant that is just a year old.

I am so thankful to God for my launch team. We truly have some incredible people on the team. They do whatever they are asked to do, and do it with a cheerful heart (at least for now!). They truly are like family to us, and they are really impacting my life.

Thank you, God, for the people you bring into our lives at just the right time.

Awesome Weekend

Some really neat things happened this weekend. Sam Douglass, my church planting coach, from Just Coach Me came up and spent the day with me on Friday. We had some God-ordained meetings with a couple of pastors in the area to talk about their churches' involvement in supporting The Crossroads.

One of those churches wants to be involved as our major church sponsor. (Praise God!!!) We are working out the details of that relationship and how they will specifically be involved, but I am so thankful they are going to be working with us. I love their pastor and the heart he has for Jesus, and look forward to furthering our relationship with each other.

The other church is considering how they might be involved, but I think in the end they will also play a significant role in what we are doing.

After we got through visiting with the pastors, I took Sam to The Boiler Room for a couple of raspberry truffle mochas (delicious and not on the diet) and so i could pick his brain about some planting stuff.

Then we hung out at my house. Sam played the piano and I sang. Really!

Our launch team came over at 6:30 for beans and cornbread and some cowboy candy. Mmmm! Good Texas food. Sam spent a couple of hours pumping up the launch team and training them for how to do door-to-door surveys. Sam was definitely on his A-game.

Saturday, we spent some time with friends saying good-bye to an incredible friend.

Sunday, we had some great Mexican food at a friend's house and went to a neat prayer and worship time at Legacy Bible Church.

All in all, an awesome weekend.

Update on a Meeting Place

Looks like we will definitely have a place to meet, I'm just not sure where yet. I've located three different possibilities that look promising. Continue to pray for this, however.

Meetings with Anna City Manager and Police Chief went really well last week. I hope connecting with these guys will really help us to build relationships and make connections with our target communities.